it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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