Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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