she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
