That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have feelings that need drinking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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