how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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