We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
