I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
as a side note pls kill me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
