instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
