i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
