i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
