If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea