Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.