Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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