My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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