At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I touched a dick in church today
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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