The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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