I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize