i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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