I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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