Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize