I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
