I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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