Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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