what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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