You can't motorboat a personality
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize