is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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