dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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