whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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