i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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