We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
