New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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