he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
