All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
