I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator