I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants