Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?