Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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