I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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