im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
