Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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