I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
