do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Damn victory sex feels great
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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