he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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