Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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