his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize