Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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