i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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