dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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