Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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