I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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