The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize