she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize