Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
