She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
